Soundtrack

Two songs fighting for attention in my head today:

Just um
Don’t treat me like I am
Something that happened to you.

Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall.

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I Hope There’s Love ~ Dr. Dog

I don’t want to fight.
I don’t see no point, we will never get it right.
So, what do you think in the middle of the night,
When you’re all alone?

Will you pick another town,
And pick up and leave once you’ve burned your bridges down
Until the point when you’re sleeping on the ground
And the whole world is out of your reach?

Well you learn how to talk.
Like a baby, you learn to walk the walk,
But in the end it’s just you in the dark
Did you learn who you are?

Well something broke that I can’t seem to mend.
‘Cause some things break before they bend
I hope there is love at the end of your day to take you away.

When you tell a lie,
Can you look in the mirror and see it in your eye?
Who do you fool with the things that you hide?
Is it for your sake or mine?

Well I can’t wear your shoes
Nah they just wouldn’t fit I’ve got too much to lose
By walking so fast when you can’t pick and choose
the people you walk on.

Well I know an old band
And I know your face like the back of my hand
And I hope that maybe you will understand
That I don’t know who you are anymore
Anymore

Well something broke that I can’t seem to mend.
‘Cause some things break before they bend.
I hope there is love at the end of your day to take you away.
_____
Someone dies and my mp3 player is immediately haunted by that person and songs like this appear in my morning commute music. Apropos, madam. I hear you.

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Hammer & A Stone ~ Seven Mary Three

Do you remember me
Do you remember me because
Everything we had

Was like a hammer to a stone
Wrapped like a fender around a tree
The curiosity in you
And all the emptiness in me

I’m a page torn from your novel
A single flower in your lawn
If I’m not everything you wished for
How come you miss me when I’m gone?

_____

Who knew that the retelling of everything that had gone wrong would help me teach him not to settle for less than he deserves? And maybe, just maybe, I’ve learned something, too.

Breakups are EVERYWHERE.

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Fill It Up Again – Indigo Girls

I’d like to say
that it was clear to me
Love triangle geometry
But in the end
it’s still a mystery
The placement of
affection and the disarray.
I gathered up the courage
that it took
Made that bed
I took one last look.
And you could hear the pages
flapping in the wind blown
Book of my days, my days.
You’ve been the hole in my sky,
you’re my shrinking water supply.
Before my well runs dry
I’m going round
round
round
the bend
Fill it up again.

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Closer I Am To Fine ~ Indigo Girls

I’m trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
The best thing you’ve ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it’s only life after all
Well darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable
And lightness has a call that’s hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I’m crawling on your shore.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper
And I was free.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as I’d been the night before
I went in seeking clarity.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.

We go to the bible, we go through the workout
We read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine

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Everything Old

There is this song
that has always
reminded me of
a man I walked
away from
years ago
and yet
even still
when I hear it
his eyes fill up
my vision and
I can’t think
of anything else
but lately
every time
I’ve heard this song
I sing along
with a smile
on my face
and it doesn’t
escape me that
this here is a
nice little ditty…
and nothing more.

And then suddenly
I realize
the same tune
could apply to
another man who
is lingering around
my door of late and
then the smile takes over
and I’m singing at
the top of my lungs and
it’s not this man but
the thought of what
it could be that
means the most.
~ 12/4/13

I know the shape of your hands
Because I watch ’em when you talk.

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