Buoy

1.
I fell fast
into your current
even though I told you
that I didn’t.

I never quit
but hid it
and let you go
with little struggle.

I lied when
I said I heard
what I wanted
you to say.

I lost my grip
on you so often
and the current
just bore me away.

So often
I would let it
not caring about
the weight.

I started
telling myself
that I’d given up
the game.

(Always knowing
that I hadn’t
and that you’d
be back someday).

I’m a torpedo
in this flood
just begging to
be washed away.

2.
But then you’re there
like a stone sinking
like a bulwark
from the storm.

And the current
it’s still pushing
but we’re suspended
above the swarm.

The world is just
a buzzing
like a fly
inside my ear.

Your hand
inside of mine
is all that’s left
to fear.

I fell fast
into your current
and then pretended
it was you.

I was yours from the
very first moment
and there was
nothing I could do.

I never quit but
I always hid it
another failure
too high a price.

I lost my grip but
you reached back
and held me
like a vice.

I’m running loose
and running rampant
and I never know
where to stay.

But the current
moves around me
whenever you stand
in its way.
~9/11/17

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