The Worst

I wake from a nightmare
where it turns out I am
exactly the same girl
that I have always been.

Petrified
I don’t want
to get out of bed
because what if I
wasn’t dreaming
after all?

I hate that I hate
her so much.
That for
some reason
in my mind
she is flawed.
She didn’t know
any better.
Never had
a chance.

But I couldn’t be me
if I hadn’t been her first.
Everyone else spent
so much time assuming
the worst in her and
the last thing I should
ever do is let them
do it to me, too.
~1/25/16

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