Rise

There is an air of purpose
to every single thing that you do,
delivered in a way that seems accidental.

You don’t make me feel beautiful.
I look at myself and I know that I am.
I look at myself the way you look at me.

I am not scared of you.
You don’t make me nervous.
I don’t second guess myself
at every turn.

You don’t make me feel smart.
You listen to every word I say
and I know that it means something to you.

I am grateful for so many things,
paramount among them the fact
that you see me so clearly,
and that you are helping me to
see myself as the kind of
person worth looking at.

Sometimes I get the feeling
you don’t want to look
too closely and believe me,
I understand that feeling all too well.

I feel strong when I am with you.
That I am beyond the need for
the small reassurances of life
and that you are above all that, anyway.

I want to talk to you.
I want to hear what you
have to say about everything.
I find myself stopping short
and wondering what you would think
about the thoughts of the day.

I feel more confident. More capable.
Not necessarily because of you but
because of what you make of me.

You are a challenge that
I rise to again and again.

You came out of nowhere and
then you kept coming back
until it was impossible to
ignore you or chalk it up
to coincidence.

I may never say
any of these things to you
and you may never see
these words but that does not
make them any less true
or me any less grateful
for the gift of them.
~9/11/15
_____
Some of this popped into my head as I was walking back from lunch but then I started writing it down and I realized I have known much of this for a very long time and am continuing to learn ever more of it as time passes.

Now to meet it.

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