Happiest Sad Girl

I am the happiest
sad girl you
will ever meet.
You don’t want
to love me.

I’ve never been able
to stop myself from
saying exactly what
I’m thinking and
if it’s possible I have
gotten worse over time
but I still have trouble
apologizing for that
or even thinking it
is a bad way to be.

So I’ll just come
out and say it.

I would say yes
if you asked the
right question.
I’d say yes if you
even came close.

You made me
an offer and
I didn’t refuse.

Tell me what
you need and
I’ll tell you if
I can be it.
Tell me what
you want and
I’ll tell you mine.

I let myself be small
for such a long time,
I’m surprised I can
even unfold myself
from this tiny box.

I am the happiest
sad girl you
will ever meet.
You don’t want
to love me.
But by the time you
realize you might
it’s already too late.

And I really have trouble
apologizing for that or
even thinking there is
some other way to be.
~6/15/15

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