Try to Remember

It’s September inside me

for the first time in years
a moment I welcome
instead of dread and 

I wonder if it’s possible to feel guilty
because you don’t feel guilty

because I don’t feel guilty

and trying to find
an emotion
to take its place
after all this time

means that September
will stay inside of me now

and everything it was
will be what I used to be
until I figured out how
not to feel guilty 

about September.
~9/2/14

_____

You have one of those months of the year that is just, for some reason or many, harder to get through than the others? I was just retelling an old story to someone last week, about a particularly bad September, and described it as “laughable adolescent drama that shouldn’t hold as much relevance to me as it has for so long.” And I stopped short and thought, “Whoa. Who are you?” I’m taking it back, kids, September and every other one, at that.

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