Really

I’m on to you.

All this time you
had me convinced
that I didn’t have
any choice in this
but I finally have
it figured out.

That’s your life.
It’s not my life.
I wouldn’t want it
if I could have it
and so I don’t see
why I have to
make it better for you
just because I can when

really

aren’t you the one
who is always saying
that there is a lesson
in everything and that
I have to learn it?

Take this spoon.
It’s a dose of
your own medicine.

I’ve got better
things to do.
~7/2/14
____
I’m doing a really great job. I’m incredibly proud of myself. There’s so much I’m having trouble, and honestly probably can’t, get away from but there’s a whole lot I’m saying no to. At least saying, “No, this is not my job. No, this is not my choice. No, this is not my life.” I mean, I don’t have anything to replace it with really, which is unfortunate and a direct result of being everybody else’s girl for the first 30 years of my life. I don’t want pity and I don’t need help and I’m not asking for anything. I’m a pretty awesome human being. And I’d like the chance to be that. What I believe that is. Not what you’ve decided it’s supposed to be.

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