Heartbreak Average

If I’m following the current cultural trend, I might throw a *trigger warning* on this, but if you don’t have the stones to read poetry that might unsettle your feelings, you shouldn’t be reading my blog anyway. Everything about the recent shooting has been rolling around in my tummy since it happened, and I find more and more lately that I feel the need to write a poem to express my feelings about current events, although I never think I do it well enough. I guess the point I’m trying to make is, I know the “nice guys.” I know “the nerds.” And I take great offense to people acting like they have no social skills. I take as great offense to people grouping men into this hateful category as I do the men who bemoan their state like it’s an innocent girl’s fault she’s not madly in love with him… I don’t know. I can’t love people in slices. I don’t like to group people into categories, I prefer to take them one on one. I still can’t get it out right. As per usual, I just go back to my founding tenet: Own your bullshit. It’s not your fault if you get your heart broken but it’s your job to take responsibility for your life; build a bridge, and get over it. (Sorry if this commentary or poem offends anyone. Really).

______________________
I don’t know.
I’m average.

I’ve dated the bad boy.
I’ve dated the nice guy.

And guess what?
When it’s over they
are all the same.

I’ve been called
a great many things.

Sexy.
Gorgeous.
Funny.

Whore.
Tease.
Bitch.

And maybe it’s just because
I’m not tall and blond
that I consider my
heartbreak average.

The bad boy was
the most romantic
man I’ve ever met

most of the time

and the nice guy was
incredibly cruel

in the end

but they took responsibility
and I hope they know
that I did, too.

I don’t like that I feel
as though my thoughts
on this horror don’t matter

because I’m not
the kind of girl
that men lose
their mind over

but I am over the idea
that she asked for it and
when she got it she didn’t
want it anymore or only
took it because she
took you for a joke.

At the end of the day

the flirtation

or the relationship

you get the most
out of every moment

by taking responsibility
for every moment

and your contribution to it.
~5/30/14

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