Plateau

Please don’t ask me
about him again.

I’ve finally reached
the plateau where
my life is no longer
better or worse
because he’s not in it.

If the day ever came
when he remembered
himself and asked,

“What have I done?
What have we become?”

I wouldn’t know
the answer so

Please don’t ask me
about him again.
~5/19/14
____
Heard “Last Tears” on my commute this morning… “And when I’m drunk on the last drop of sadness about how we went wrong, I’m gonna play this song, make some coffee black and strong,
give thanks for healing time and finally make up my mind.” I’m always astounded at the feeling, at a loss, that it will never get better and the hole that person left will never ever be filled. And maybe that’s true. But someone who defined you isn’t there anymore and after awhile, you’re actually surprised when someone brings him up. You’re not better, but its not worse. Thank god for time. I was mere feet away from him a few days ago. We’ve gone from awkward dawdling to outright avoidance, and it’s depressing as hell when you weigh it against the last decade.

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