An Offer I Shouldn’t Refuse

It’s raining today
but there’s a
tangible feeling of

everything will get
better from here.

But do not tell me
what I want to hear or
must I remind you that

regardless of your intention

if you don’t want to say it

that makes it a lie.

The story of my life
is longer than I realize,
in my third decade
I still feel lost
sometimes.

It’s because
I compartmentalize.

Tabula rasa with a
side of skeletons
in the closet so
every time I start
over again I end up
in the same place.

I haven’t done much lately
to deserve the reputation
I’ve held on to so long and
yet, it still follows me around.

I am not perfect but
I do not feel a need
to make you feel bad
so that I feel better.

You have to know that
every word you utter
is like a blustery wind
pushing me backward
and destroying any
progress I’ve made
like a hurricane.

You get respect
when you give it,
it doesn’t come
cheap or easy
and you can
try to make me
feel badly about it
but it’s just not
going to work.

I spent so much time
trying to prove myself
it took me forever to
figure out that I have
nothing to prove to you
or anyone but myself
and you know what?

It’s raining today
but there’s a
tangible feeling of

everything will get
better from here.
~4/28/14

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