Need

I needed you and
you weren’t here.
It’s a sensation that
I have forgotten
over the years.

You haven’t been here
in a very long time but
tonight, I needed you.
And you weren’t here.

I want to say that I managed
just fine without you and that
I didn’t notice your absence
but you’re the only one who
can stop the noise from sinking
into my spine and I needed you
here to cut through the din and
I haven’t needed that or you in
years but tonight, I needed you.
And you weren’t here.
~4/14/14
_____
Note to self: Don’t go to the club when that club has a history of inducing a panic attack when your ex-girlfriend isn’t around anymore to pull you out of said massive panic attack.

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