Five Cents

My cross seems
heavier than usual.

If I claim to suffer
in silence feel free
to laugh because
I know I’ve never
been shy with my
complaining but
I’ll do what I must
and anyway, I never
promised I would do it
without complaint.

And yet the silence I suffer in
really is louder than you can
possibly imagine if only
you took the time to listen.

But please, tell me your troubles,
of course I want to help you.

Oh, you don’t really want help?
You just want to ask my advice
on a situation you’ve already
made up your mind about?
(By the way, you’re wrong).

I don’t mean to be cruel but what
exactly is the point of me?

In your life, I mean?

Does it help you to have me
sit here and listen when you
can’t even hear anything over
your sense of self-righteousness?

I understand you don’t
need me to tell you what to do.

I get it that you just want someone
to listen to your heart and I’m here.

But I will not give you carte blanche
to do what you want without any
notification of the repercussions

because that?
That is the point of me.

And if you don’t want to hear it,
I hope there is someone else you
can call to yes man you to death.

Because if I’m all you’ve got,
you’ve got bigger problems.

I’m very busy right now
with a cross of my own
and just in case you
thought you were being
sneaky about it
it is obvious that
all you want is for me
to pick yours up, too.

And there’s a time when
I would have done it.

Happily.

And told you that
I felt that was the
point of my life.

But those days are gone.
And you need to find
yourself another martyr.
~3/5/14
_____
This poem is one long whine, and I apologize for it, and I’m a little angry that I couldn’t produce it in a more cohesive and attractive package, but there it is.

Let me specify:
I am happy to listen to your worries. But if you’re just looking for approval of your bad decisions, find someone else.
If you want to whine about a situation you’re doing nothing to better, I do not have time for you.
Starting the conversation with, “Hey, how are you doing? I have this thing I wanted to talk to you about if you don’t mind…” would go a LONG way. Please do not assume that I will always be here and that it would be my absolute pleasure, at any time, to listen to your problems. It is not my only job to make you feel better about yourself.

For the love of god.

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