They Are Only Days

I want to put
as much space
as I can between
what I am and
what I’d rather be.

I made it this far.

The trick is not to
forget who you
were to begin with.

Something is wrong.
Something has
always been wrong.

But if I knew
what it was
I’d have fixed it
by now.

The entirety
of the year is
staring me down
insisting on its
own importance
and I’ve made it
my mission to
remind it that no,

they are only days,

and who cares
how they are
numbered and
why bother pinning
any significance to them
just so you can look back
at this particular
predetermined moment
in order to tell yourself
to be happy or sad at
what you left behind?

I won’t put up
with it anymore.
I want to put
as much space
as I can between
what I am and
what I’d rather be.

The further you get
from something the
more difficult it is
to see until you
can barely recall
the contours of the
thing that used to
define your life.
~1/3/14

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