What Dreams

I’ve found that I’ve been remembering my dreams a lot more lately than usual. It’s not an occurrence I’m happy about. This series is my way of blocking them out, I suppose.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not so much
broken
as bitter.
___________________
Too soon?

It’s never
too soon
to start
doing what
you should
have been
doing all
along or at
least to turn
in that direction.
____________________
All those months where
I almost had you but
didn’t quite
the thing that
worried me most
was the thought of
losing you and now
that you’re gone
I forget what it
felt like to feel
that need for you.

What does that
say about us?
____________________
I can’t overstate
how blatantly
I’m using you
but good god
I need to thank you
so much for existing
and sinking into my
little trap so happily
and with such abandon.

I need to tell you that
I will never be able to
repay the moments where
waking up gets easier
knowing that you’re
out there in the world
somewhere thinking
about the next something
you can say to make me
flush with anticipation
and embarrassment.

I’m grateful for you
and it’s been so long
since I’ve felt that way
about anyone that I can’t
help but wake up with
a smile on my face.
_____________________
~12/7/13

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