“It’s not you, it’s me,”
is the line loners
usually use to go
out of their way in
reassuring people
that really it’s fine,
“I just don’t want to
be around anyone
at the moment.”

And I’m not saying
that’s not true.
Most of the time
it’s exactly that.

But tonight?

I don’t feel the need
to reassure you of
your worth when
I’m too busy sitting
here alone second-
guessing my own.

It’s not just me,
it’s you, too.
I’ve been accused for a long time of being difficult, anti-social and downright rude when I back out of events or decide not to attend family get-togethers, etc. And I’ve never been able to accurately deliver my reasons for doing so.

“I am on the verge of tears at all times. I will not be good company. I think it’s insane that you would prefer I show up just so that you can feel good about our little family unit when just being in public is causing me physical pain.”

There. I said it.


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