Start

Start from the upside down.
Moving from beginning to end
hasn’t served you too well
up to this point,
so why not move backwards?
Accept the love that’s given to you
with the understanding that it isn’t
the love you want and wait.
Someday you’ll meet a man who
doesn’t say he doesn’t deserve you,
and that man will have you
because he deserves to.

Make it all seem purposeful.
Accept the accolades given to you
with the understanding that they
do not define you or cement your fate.
And someday maybe you’ll even
feel worthy of them all.
Take it slow and easy.
You are not required to have
all the answers or take
all the responsibility.
You are allowed to say no.
Maybe when you do
you will understand where
the yes got lost and get it back.

Don’t let anybody make you feel bad
for wanting what you want.
You deserve to be selfish.
It is time to become
accustomed to your loneliness.
You’ve had your sadness
to keep you company
longer than any other friend or lover,
and it will never abandon you.

Stop waiting for the world
to do right by you, and start
taking some responsibility
for the way it all turned out.
When you don’t pay attention
and make a plan for your life
it will turn into whatever
everyone around you
decides to turn it into, with you
buffeted around incidentally
like a rowboat in a storm.
If you’ve never stood up
for yourself then who can?
and who should, at that?

Since you’ve always had
a sinking suspicion that
you’ve been upside down,
why not start there?
And realize that its not
the wrong way to start,
to start with.
Then move backward.

I’ll see you at the starting line.
And we’ll get started.
~2/13/13

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