Too Much

The old lady
who raised me
called me on
the phone
last night.

“Don’t you have
a birthday
coming up
next week?”
I teased.

“How old are you
going to be, anyway?”

“Ooh, ja!”
she croons
in response.

“Too much,
too much,
too much!”

What she has
always been.
What she will
always be.
What I will
always attempt
to live up to.

Too much.
Happy early birthday, Eva! I can only hope to be as young as you when I get to be your age.


One Man’s Trash

I dreamt
about her
last night.

Some women
are vipers,
let me tell you.

I’ll show you mine
if you show me yours.

And then we’ll quibble
about what belongs
to whom to start with
or in the end and
then I’m awake.

Laughing but nervous,
glad to have survived
and victorious, at that.

Snakes attack
when they
feel threatened.

I won’t deny
that I’m unsettled,
but then I realize
she is the one
who is striking
out at me and
then I can’t
stop giggling.

Still half asleep
and put off
by that face
in my dreams
but satisfied
to no end that
in the end


And I hope
she doesn’t
ever wake up
from that
I had the most disconcerting dream. Talk about waking up full on horror heebie jeebies to the max. But as I’m lying there in bed processing the thing, this slow smile creeps across my face when I come to the conclusion that it was only a dream, for me, and for the other person featured, it really was a nightmare.

All. I. Do. Is. Win. Because I say so. Boom. It really is that easy.


Sweet Dreams

I couldn’t stop
last night.

They came
in waves.

Good ones
and bad ones.

I woke up crying.
I woke up moaning.

I woke up reaching
for something,
but I’d forgotten
by the time
I opened
my eyes.

I’ve spent
the morning
going through
them all
sorting which ones
were nightmares
and which ones
I want to come true.

I think maybe
it’s up to you.

Sweet dreams.
I don’t remember any details of my dreams upon waking, ever. So to have had a night full of such vivid and varied dreams, and to remember them all, seems odd. At least they were more good than bad.:)


Us Against Them

Self preservation mode
kicked in pretty quickly
and I got used to filing
away all the things that
I thought and did not
say to you since you
were no longer around
to say them to anyway.

But I never surrendered
to the idea of a world
without you in it and (just
as I knew you would) you
found your way back to me.

The fact that it is still
surprising you is an
added bonus to the
peace your presence
brings me and I will
always throw my head
back laughing at your
surprise that the door
is still standing open.

Waiting for you to come
in and shut out a world
that will never understand
it is us against them and
that we are going to win.


The Rock

I fully intend
to contemplate
that uphill path
and see it for the
battle that it is.

I will take it.
Taking my time.

And I’ll do my best

once I reach the summit

not to cry like the baby
I was the first time
I stood there.

And then
I’ll climb
back down.

But I’ll take
the moment
with me.

Even now
I can feel it
in the tips
of my toes.

A body aching
for the challenge
and the peace that
only victory brings.



We are all
made of stars

and I am a
connect the dot

I bleed for you.

And with
every night
that passes
the more
I shine

by your