Two for Flinching

I flinch

instinctively
immediately

and I can’t help
but wonder whether
I’ll ever unlearn
the tendency.

I’m angry
a little and

I can’t deny it.

And anger
is more useful
than sadness.

But nothing
makes you
feel alive
like fear.

And I am
always afraid.

And so I flinch

instinctively
immediately

assuming that
someone needs
something that
for some reason
only I can deliver.

Always.

At every moment
and in every turn.

I am so tired
and I am so angry
and I am so afraid.

And while part of me
can’t help but
wonder whether
I’ll ever unlearn
the tendency

the truth is I know
that I never will.
~5/19/17

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No More

I fell in love
with the first man
who ever loved me
because he loved me.

I remember
the day I met him.
It was something
about the eyes.
So kind.

I should
probably regret it
but honestly
I don’t.

I saw everything
he was afraid
to look at and
saw him for
everything he
could be.

I fell in love
with the last man
who ever loved me
because he didn’t
want to love me.

I remember
the day I met him.
It was something
about his voice.
So clear.

He should
probably regret it
but honestly
he won’t.

I heard everything
he was too scared
to hear and heard
everything he
didn’t say.

I knew what
they could
mean to me
and no less
and no more.

So now what
am I looking for?
~5/9/17

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Sunday Soup Day

Chop the garlic.

Take a deep breath.

Wash the potatoes.

Take a deep breath.


Cut through the spinach


With a satisfied crunch.


Take a deep breath.


Pour the milk


And stir the pot


And take a deep breath.


Put it all together.


Bring yourself back together.


With every deep breath.

~5/7/17

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