It’s lonely at the top

I could give out lessons on how to
stitch together a life from the
forgotten bits of defense mechanisms
and leftover scraps of joy.

The trick is to be just scared enough
to know that you’re probably going to
fail at some point, but knowing that
point is far enough in the future that
you’ve got some time to kill.

Have a little fun, a little sorrow
on your way to the eternal.
Otherwise, what’s the point?

They say I’m brave and I can’t help
but laugh because I can’t get over
the fact that I’m being so cowardly.
And I can’t help but wonder when
it was that I got so good at this deception.

But the truth is, you need to be ready.
Because someday everything really is
going to be ok, and you need to know
how to deal with that.

I could give out lessons on how to
do everything wrong and yet
still end up on top, all the while
bemoaning the fact that it is,
as they say, quite lonely up there.

~12/14

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